Constitutional Emergency

(Just for a laugh) The Manitoba Herald , Canada , as Reported by Clive Runnels, August 6, 2010

Build a Damn Fence! Eh....



The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are
prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon
be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn
Beck.


Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and
there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba
farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer
was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte
and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”


In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he
said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much
that they wouldn’t give any milk.”


Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for
themselves.” A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged
conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload
without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice
little Napa Valley Cabernet, though.”


When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps
where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR
races.





In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration
authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior
citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were
alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious
about their age.” an official said. Canadian citizens have complained
that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage
and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for
American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them.” an
Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”


In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada , Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close
to President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and
Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered
species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out.” he
said. The Herald will be interested to see if Obama can actually raise Mary from the dead in time for the concert.



I received this in an email today and thought I would share.

Views: 6

Comment

You need to be a member of Constitutional Emergency to add comments!

Join Constitutional Emergency

About

Old Rooster created this Ning Network.

This effort is focused on sacrifice to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic.

Fox News

Tech Notes

Thousands of Deadly Islamic Terror Attacks Since 9/11



HOW TO JOIN YOUR STATE GROUP

1. Click on State Groups tab at the top of the page.
2. Find your State Flag
3. Click on Flag.
4. Look for link to join Your State Group near the top of the State Groups page.
5. Click on it.

Follow the Prompts


How to post "live" URL in posts at PFA............. Adding URLs in blog posts that are not "live" is a waste of everyone's time.....
Here's how....if anyone has better guidance send to me.....
First........type your text entry into the post block to include typing or paste the URL you want us to view........when finished with the text, highlight and copy the URL in the text.......then click the "add hyperlink" tool in the B, I, U box just above the text entry, after clicking, a window will open asking for the URL...paste the URL in the box and click "OK". You have now made the URL "live"...........it shows some code before the post is published, it goes away when you "publish post".......

Events

© 2020   Created by Old Rooster.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service